Tuesday 31 December 2013

Shay Given's Boro loan deal extended...

Aging Villa keeper Shay Given, a big hit since arriving in Middlesbrough a month ago, will stay at the Riverside until February 28 2014.

Boro head honcho Neil Bausor gurgled: "We are extremely delighted to secure the extension of Shay's loan until the end of February."

Shay has played seven games for Boro since making his debut in their home game with Bolton on November 30 and has managed four clean sheets. His run in the team has coincided with Boro's best run of results since November 2012.
  • Given is the second most capped player for the Republic of Ireland, having played for them 125 times.
  • He made 461 appearances for Newcastle spread over a 12-year stay before moving to Manchester City for just short of £6m on transfer deadline day in January 2009.
  • After making 69 appearances for City, Given moved to Aston Villa for a reported £3.5m in the summer of 2011. He has so far made 43 appearances for the Villans.
Meanwhile, Benji Siegrist has extended his loan deal at Burton Albion until February 2nd.

Saturday 28 December 2013

Match Preview: Sunderland v Aston Villa

Who are we playing?
Sunderland

Where are we playing?
Stadium of Light, New Years Day 3pm

Can I go?
Tickets on general sale for £29 and kids for a quid.

Easy to get to?
Not on New Years Day, no. It's pigging miles away! Best bet is the coach for this one because you're unlikely to be fit to drive after your New Years Eve shenanigans.

Can I watch it live on the telly?
Not legally no. Naughty pubs or dodgy web streams are your best bet.

Big game?
Going downhill fast
Six pointer. We're right in the relegation dogfight now and this is a must win fixture. After two abject performances at Villa Park over Christmas from which we gleaned a solitary point, we're desperate to get anything from this game.

Do Sunderland have any famous fans?  
Well there's Paul McCartney's ex, the model and skier Heather Mills. At least we think there is. We couldn't find a picture of her wearing a Sunderland shirt so here's one of her not wearing one. She's got a Wearside accent and she always seems to look upset so she probably is a Sunderland fan.

Pike in his Villa scarf
We've got Private Pike from Dad's Army.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Clodhopping Ciaran Clark managed to pick up a yellow card against Swansea and is banned for this game.

Big Chris Benteke might be back after having knee treatment in Belgium while Ron Vlaar's calf continues to rule him out.

Who's playing for them?
Gus Poyet is sweating on the fitness of Fabio Borini, John O'Shea and Adam Johnson while Wes Brown is suspended.

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:
  • After our initial meeting with Sunderland on Boxing Day 1890 finished goalless, a tradition of high scoring matches began, Sunderland winning the next encounter 5-1 and Villa gaining revenge the game after, running out 5-3 winners.
  • We knocked Sunderland out en route to our 1993/94 Coca Cola Cup triumph, winning 4-1 at Roker Park, Dalian Atkinson scoring twice.
  • Our last visit to the Stadium of Light was back in November 2012. Gabby Agbonlahor got the solitary goal.
  • Brad Guzan was the hero in 2009 as we knocked the Mackems out of the Carling Cup. Brad saved a penalty during the match and three more in the shoot-out.
He said, She said...
"I've got a good relationship with Randy, but that doesn't mean I'm immune to it. I always have that fear. I always had that fear as a footballer and I always do when I'm the manager. I think you've got to have that." Paul Lambert

"We have a great group of players, they won’t accept defeat – to beat us you’re going to have to fight very very hard; we’re not giving up" Gus Poyet

Prediction
Going for a nil-nil draw here. Happy New Year.

Villa v Swansea as it was tweeted...

Friday 27 December 2013

Match Preview: Aston Villa v Swansea City

Who are we playing?
Swansea City

Where are we playing?
Saturday 3pm

Can I go?
Until our home form markedly improves, there should be no problem getting Villa Park tickets. Bear in mind the stewards have form for confiscating bedsheets.

Easy to get to?
Travel should be a breeze compared to the Boxing Day shenanigans. Keep an ear on local radio for any weather related hassles

Can I watch it live on the telly?
Saturday 3o'clocker not legally no. Naughty pubs or dodgy web streams are your best bet if you decide to boycott but still want to see the game.

Offensive
Big game?
Incredibly important

The Crystal Palace debacle seems to be last straw that broke the camel's back and Paul Lambert has lost a large section of the support. Reports of Andi Weimann telling loyal supporters to shush or of Ian Culverhouse telling a paying customer to "Shut up you fucking moron" will do little to promote harmony.

It would be easy here to
say "let's pull together" but that would be to ignore the cumulative effect of the utter dross that has been served up by Paul Lambert's team at Villa Park this season.

If the dour scot ever needed to conjure up an inspiring performance from his charges, it's now. On recent evidence it seems unlikely, but make no mistake, Lambert's future at the club is on the line here.

That duvet needs ironing
Do Swansea City have any famous fans?  
Struggling with this one a bit, but there is Darling Bud Catherine Zeta Jones, who is most famous for being Michael Douglas's carer wife.

We've got Ritchie Neville from the boyband Five.

So we win.



Who's playing for us?
Depressingly, Big Chris Benteke is out for some time with his knee problem while Ron Vlaar's calf will almost certainly continue to rule him out.

Westside should be back after his suspension and shouldn't find it too hard to get his place back after yet another inept midfield performance.

With this being the second game in two days, Lambert is likely to freshen things up with a few fresh legs but the final line-up may depend on just who is ready after several players took knocks in the Boxing Day fiasco.

Who's playing for them?
No Michu thankfully. Swansea have lost two on the bounce but they've not been over-run and if Laudrup decides to shuffle his pack, it's likely just due to the quick turnaround of matches.

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

  • We first met Swansea Town as they were then on 2nd February 1924 in the FA Cup Second Round, running out 2-0 winners thanks to a brace from Len Capewell.
  • Our League encounter with Swansea City on 21st May 1982 was our last match before the European Cup Final. Des Bremner, Peter Withe and Tony Morley scored in a 3-0 victory in front of just 18,294 at Villa Park.
  • We've not played Swansea in a cup competition since 21st September 1965 when we won at their place 3-2 as Phil Woosnam netted twice.
  • Our last meeting with Swansea City was on New Year's Day at the Liberty Stadium, a 2--2 draw gave us brief respite from the Christmas nightmare, a last minute Danny Graham winner denying us all three points.



He said, She said...
"Not gonna throw the towel in. It's a fight for everyone. You roll your sleeves up and you carry on"  Paul Lambert.

“Villa Park is a very tough place to play but we know we are capable of winning there and bouncing back from these back-to-back defeats.” Ashley Williams

Prediction
Can't see past a Swansea win, a horrible atmosphere and the sour smell of disappointment. Time to start preparing for life in the Championship.

Sunday 22 December 2013

Match Preview: Villa v Palace

Who are we playing?
Crystal Palace

Where are we playing?
Boxing Day 3pm

Can I go?
Until our home form markedly improves, there should be no problem getting Villa Park tickets.

Easy to get to?
There are NO TRAINS!!! The buses are on Sunday Service but many routes stop running after 6pm so after match pints could be curtailed. If you're driving, bear in mind they'll be more cars about than usual due to the no trains situation so leave extra time to get parked up.

Black Cabs use a slightly higher tariff on Boxing Day. If your driver tries to charge you double though, he's ripping you off.

Can I watch it live on the telly?
Not legally no. Naughty pubs or dodgy web streams are your best bet.

Big game?

Six pointer.

Villa's home form has been desperately poor for years now. Anything other than a convincing win against one of the poorest sides in the league and the knives will be out. Having struggled against Sunderland and been played off the park by a poor Fulham team, we'll be strong relegation candidates if we don't win this.

Do Crystal Palace have any famous fans?   

Well there's Suzanna Reid off breakfast telly, though better known now for shaking her bits on Strictly Come Dancing. There's also Matthew Wright off of Channel 5's The Wright Stuff. Appearing on Channel 5 probably doesn't count as being famous but he entered the public consciousness by screaming like a girl on I'm a Celeb.

We've got Martin Duffy out of Primal Scream.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Depressingly, Big Chris Benteke is out for some time with his knee problem while Ron Vlaar's calf may continue to rule him out.

Westside has hit five bookings and is banned from the game.

The good news is that Gabby Agbonlahor will be available again.

Who's playing for them?
Tony Pulis hooked Barry Bannan off at half-time against Newcastle so it might well be that he won't start him, so if you want to see a short person clowning around, you might have to go a panto.

Chamakh has found his striking boots in recent weeks but he's suspended which is a relief.  Crystal Palace manager Tony Pulis could draft in baby-faced assassin Dwight Gayle to partner Cameron Jerome.

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:
Clem Stephenson
  • Our first meeting with Palace was in the FA Cup 3rd Round in February 1913. We ran out 5-0 winners with two goals each for Harold Halse and Clem Stephenson.
  • Almost 49 years would pass before we'd meet them again, winning another FA Cup 3rd Round tie, 4-3 this time with two goals for Harry Burrows.
  • We did the double over Palace in our 1980/81 Championship winning season. Gary Shaw netted in a 1-0 victory at their place while Peter Withe bagged a brace as we won 2-0 at Villa Park.
  • Our last Premier League win over Palace was back in March 1998. Ian Taylor scored in the first minute while Savo Milosevic bagged two including a penalty. Some Villa fans refused to celebrate Savo's goals due the infamous spitting incident at Blackburn two months earlier.
  • Crystal Palace put an end to our defence of the Coca Cola Cup in November 1994, winning 4-1 thanks to two goals each for Chris Armstrong and one Gareth Southgate. Dalian Atkinson got our consolation goal.
He said, She said...
"You look at that mid-table region. There is absolutely nothing in it. One win catapults you up." Paul Lambert.

"The next two games at Villa Park and Man City will be tough" Tony Pulis.


Prediction
We predict either a Villa fan or very angry scenes at Villa Park. 

Tuesday 17 December 2013

Match Preview: Stoke City v Aston Villa

Hughes losing to Villa in 1994
Who are we playing?
Stoke City

Where are we playing?
Saturday 3pm

Can I go?
Not unless you've already got a ticket. Home support may be dwindling but away fans are as keen as ever and all the tickets have been snapped up.

Easy to get to?
It's not very far away but it's one of least friendly towns to away fans in the league. We'd suggest driving and having a tot or two when you get back home frankly. If you're getting the train, we'd suggest a cab to the ground.

Can I watch it live on the telly?
Saturday 3 o'clocker so not legally no. Naughty pubs or dodgy web streams are your best bet.

Big game?

Six pointer.

Villa don't just need the win, they need a big performance because the dross they've been serving up of late is a disgrace to the shirt.

Mark Hughes has managed to perk Stoke up of late and they can now be described as mediocre rather than dull. This has all the hallmarks of a "last on Match of the Day" fixture.

Mister Hankey
Do Stoke City have any famous fans?   
Well there's Nick Hancock - once presenter of "comedy" sport quiz They Think It's All Over but we're not sure he even qualifies as famous anymore. There's also Mr. Hankey - not the Christmas Poo but the darts player Ted Hankey.

We've got Benjamin Zephaniah out of Peaky Blinders.

So we win.

Mrs. Crouch gets Christmassy
Who's playing for us?
Not Gabby Agbonlahor. He's hit his fifth yellow card and gets a one match ban. Fabian Delph should return from suspension.

No Ron Vlaar either. He's still struggling with his calf and might not be back till the New Year!

Totally out of sorts Christian Benteke faces the distinct possiblity of losing his place to Libor Kozak for the second time this season. Marc Albrighton probably did enough against United to keep his place.

Who's playing for them?
Stephen Ireland can't play because technically he's still our player. We should fear ex Villa beanpole Peter Crouch who'll relish taking on our confidence-sapped defenders.

Peter Crouch (groin) and Jon Walters (ankle) should be ok but Ryan Shawcross (groin) will have a fitness test

Any useless stats?

Of course, here you go:
    Hat-trick Hero
  • Villa v Stoke is one of the oldest league fixtures. Aston Villa hammered Stoke 5-1 in the first meeting on 15th September 1888.
  • Our 3-1 victory over Stoke in April this year was our first ever win at the Britannia Stadium. Matthew Lowton's 87th minute strike was our Goal of the Season.
  • We haven't been drawn against The Potters in a cup competition since 1962.
  • Our biggest win over Stoke came on Boxing Day 1894, Charlie Athersmith netting a hat-trick as we ran out 6-0 victors.
  • Didier Six scored a rare league goal for Villa in our 2-1 win in March 1985
He said, She said...
“Is that five Premier League managers who have lost their jobs? It’s extremely difficult. Everyone knows you have to win games" - Paul Lambert

Mark Hughes: "Once again we've got a quick chance to get over a defeat. We're on a decent run and we'll try to get performance levels up to the standard we expect."

Prediction
Nil-nil, snore draw.

Monday 9 December 2013

Match Preview: Villa v Manchester United

Who are we playing?
United, Manchester United.

Where are we playing?
Villa Park, Sunday 1.30pm

Can I go?
Looks like the game is a sell out, but ring round your mates. There's bound to be some poor sod with a season ticket who has got roped into Christmas duties by the dragon and can't go.

Easy to get to?
We recommend a few Glühweins on the Frankfurt Market and a black cab to the ground. Treat yerself. It's Christmas!

Can I watch it live on the telly?
We are on Sky's Super Sunday. If you don't subscribe to Sky, you can get a Sky Sports Day Pass fron NOW TV for £ 9.99 to see the game, or spend the tenner on beer and watch it in the pub.

Big game?

Ludicrously big.

United have lost at home to Everton and Newcastle and there are serious doubts as to whether they can manage top four this season. For a club like United, missing out on Champions League football is a headache, as the revenue this generates services their debt. If they can't beat us, the panic merchants will go into overdrive.

Losing to Fulham drags us right into the relegation picture and gives the Cottagers hope. A cynic might suggest we'd have more chance if the game was at Old Trafford. A decent Villa Park performance is far too much to hope for so we'll have to pin our dreams on another smash and grab raid. We've done it before this season.

Do Manchester United have any famous fans?    
Absolutely tons of them, though we suspect most of them are DIRTY GLORY HUNTERS. Usain Bolt might be able to run the 100 metres in less than 10 seconds while waving at his mates in the crowd, but he can't manage to support his local team. Another famous United supporter is Rachel Riley, a woman who is famous for being good at sums. Hang on though Rachel, we've seen a pic of you in a Manchester City shirt, so just how loyal are you missus?

Despite the incredibly long list of famous United "hangers-on", we can't see any of them being Prime Minister, FA President, heir to to the throne or Tom Hanks.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Not Fabian Delph. That rush of early season yellow cards he picked up have come back to bite us on the arse as his fifth of the season at the Cottage rules him out of this game.

Bacuna's Bad Day at Craven Cottage is leading to calls for the out-of-form Matthew Lowton to be given another chance, while we'll be praying for a speedy if unlikely return for Ron Vlaar, although forgotten man Chris Herd was probably the best of our defenders in West London.

Andi Weimann looks badly in need of a break and while Tonev's shoot on sight antics have lead the Villa faithful into despair, he does give us another dimension when he plays.

It's a mystery quite why El Ahmadi keeps getting picked and surely the enforcer that is Yacouba Sylla would be of more use in this game.

Who's playing for them?
No RVP which has to be good news. We're hoping Anderson plays and for pure reasons of being a bit naughty, Ashley Young.

Any useless stats?

Of course, here you go:
  • Villa beat United 7-0 on 27 December 1930, two goals each for George Brown, Eric Houghton and John Mandley and one from Joe Beresford.
  • United got revenge for us beating them in the 1957 FA Cup Final by beating us 4-0 in the Charity Shield. The game was played at Old Trafford though, hardly what you'd call neutral ground.
  • Didier Six made a spectacular debut for Villa against United in October 1984, Villa running out 3-0 winners with goals from Peter Withe, Allan Evans and Paul Rideout.
  • The "you'll never win anything with kids" match took place on 19 August 1995. Villa enjoyed a 3-1 victory with Gareth Southgate, Mark Draper, Savo Milosevic and Riccardo Scimeca all making their debuts. Ian Taylor, Mark Draper and Dwight Yorke all found the net for the home team with young David Beckham getting a late consolation for the visitors. We haven't beaten United at Villa Park in the league since this game.
He said, She said...
Paul Lambert "I have good faith in the lads to go on the front foot. If we can do that, we will make it a game, that’s for sure."

David Moyes "We have really good players. These are near enough all the players who were involved last year. Hopefully we can get them in top form."

Prediction
We are predicting a United win, making the four Christmas fixtures which follow MASSIVE.

Friday 6 December 2013

All Your World Cup Group Stage Fixtures

GROUP A
Match
Date - Time Venue



1 12/06/13 21:00 Sao Paulo
Brazil - Croatia
2 13/06/13 17:00 Natal
Mexico - Cameroon
17 17/06/13 20:00 Fortaleza
Brazil - Mexico
18 18/06/13 23:00 Manaus
Cameroon - Croatia
33 23/06/13 21:00 Brasilia
Cameroon - Brazil
34 23/06/13 21:00 Recife
Croatia - Mexico
GROUP B
Match
Date - Time Venue



3 13/06/13 21:00 Salvador
Spain - Netherlands
4 13/06/13 20:00 Cuiaba
Chile - Australia
19 18/06/13 23:00 Rio De Janeiro
Spain - Chile
20 18/06/13 17:00 Porto Alegre
Australia - Netherlands
35 23/06/13 18:40 Curitiba
Australia - Spain
36 23/06/13 17:00 Sao Paulo
Netherlands - Chile
GROUP C
Match
Date - Time Venue



5 14/06/13 17:00 Belo Horizonte
Colombia - Greece
6 15/06/13 02:00 Recife
Côte d'Ivoire - Japan
21 19/06/13 17:00 Brasilia
Colombia - Côte d'Ivoire
22 19/06/13 23:00 Natal
Japan - Greece
37 24/06/13 21:00 Cuiaba
Japan - Colombia
38 24/06/13 21:00 Fortaleza
Greece - Côte d'Ivoire
GROUP D
Match
Date - Time Venue



7 14/06/13 20:00 Fortaleza
Uruguay - Costa Rica
8 14/06/13 23:00 Manaus
England - Italy
23 19/06/13 20:00 Sao Paulo
Uruguay - England
24 20/06/13 17:00 Recife
Italy - Costa Rica
39 24/06/13 17:00 Natal
Italy - Uruguay
40 24/06/13 17:00 Belo Horizonte
Costa Rica - England
GROUP E
Match
Date - Time Venue



9 15/06/13 17:00 Brasilia
Switzerland - Ecuador
10 15/06/13 20:00 Porto Alegre
France - Honduras
25 20/06/13 21:00 Salvador
Switzerland - France
26 21/06/13 00:40 Curitiba
Honduras - Ecuador
41 25/06/13 21:00 Manaus
Honduras - Switzerland
42 25/06/13 21:00 Rio De Janeiro
Ecuador - France
GROUP F
Match
Date - Time Venue



11 15/06/13 23:00 Rio De Janeiro
Argentina - Bosnia-Herzegovina
12 16/06/13 21:40 Curitiba
Iran - Nigeria
27 21/06/13 17:00 Belo Horizonte
Argentina - Iran
28 21/06/13 23:00 Cuiaba
Nigeria - Bosnia-Herzegovina
43 25/06/13 17:00 Porto Alegre
Nigeria - Argentina
44 25/06/13 18:00 Salvador
Bosnia-Herzegovina - Iran
GROUP G
Match
Date - Time Venue



13 16/06/13 18:00 Salvador
Germany - Portugal
14 16/06/13 23:00 Natal
Ghana - USA
29 21/06/13 20:00 Fortaleza
Germany - Ghana
30 22/06/13 23:00 Manaus
USA - Portugal
45 26/06/13 17:00 Recife
USA - Germany
46 26/06/13 17:00 Brasilia
Portugal - Ghana
GROUP H
Match
Date - Time Venue

Results
15 17/06/13 17:00 Belo Horizonte
Belgium - Algeria
16 17/06/13 23:00 Cuiaba
Russia - Korea Republic
31 22/06/13 17:00 Rio De Janeiro
Belgium - Russia
32 22/06/13 20:00 Porto Alegre
Korea Republic - Algeria
47 26/06/13 21:00 Sao Paulo
Korea Republic - Belgium
48 26/06/13 22:40 Curitiba
Algeria - Russia

Thursday 5 December 2013

Match Preview: Fulham v Aston Villa

Who are we playing?
Fulham

Where are we playing?
Craven Cottage, Sunday 1.30pm

Can I go?
Unless you've already bagged a ticket, sorry but you can't.  The away end has been sold out for a while.

Easy to get to?
We recommend the tube to Putney Bridge, where's there's plenty of pubs (though these quickly get rammed when the Villa are in town)  and then a stroll through the park to the ground. Quite pleasant if it's not pissing down.

Can I watch it live on the telly?
We are on Sky's Super Sunday. If you don't subscribe to Sky, you can get a Sky Sports Day Pass for £ 9.99 to see the game, or spend the tenner on beer and watch it in the pub.

Big game?

Certainly massive for bottom three Fulham and the sort of game we need to win if we don't want to get drawn into the relegation picture as the season limps on. In many ways a six-pointer.

A Famous Fulham Fan
Do Fulham have any famous fans?
Well there's Lily Allen - you know her off of the annoying John Lewis advert where they ruin the bear's hibernation, probably giving him hypothermia in the process  - and at least one of the James Bonds.

Impressive, but we've got Brendan Gleeson out of the brilliant In Bruge and the bloke that used to play Kevin Banks in Crossroads (ask your gran kids) so we win!

Who's playing for us?
Ron Vlaar disappearing with a calf injury is a big worry, especially as young Lowton didn't exactly cover himself in glory as his deputy. We'd be tempted to at least pop young Janoi Donacien on the bench for further emergencies. It would be a massive step up for the lad but the boy's got talent.

While Gabby gave us a fine display of how to be industrious as a striker when your midfield can't hold possession, the same can't be said of Kozak, but he did score. Lambert will have to decide to whether Big Chris did enough in his cameo half an hour to dislodge the Czech.

Tony Moon has tweeted that he is injured and won't play. El Ahmadi's place must be a risk after another ineffective display.

Who's playing for them?
Not sure they know yet. Despite another home defeat, Fulham did look something like, even taking the lead against Spurs at one point so they may soldier on with a similar line-up.

Premier League loan restrictions prevent Darren Bent from taking part.

Any useless stats?

Of course, here you go:
  • The legendary Jimmy Hogan managed both clubs.
  • Villa first faced Fulham in an FA Cup Quarter Final in 1905 at Villa Park. Villa ran out 5-0 winners with Harry Hampton netting twice.
  • Fulham had to wait until 1999 to avenge that cup defeat, beating Villa 2-0 at Villa Park to knock the Lions out at the 4th Round stage.
  • Villa's last win at Craven Cottage was back in January 2010, two goals from Gabby Agbonlahor securing a 2-0 victory.
  • The highest scoring game with Fulham came at Craven Cottage in September 1965, Villa winning 6-3. Tony Hateley got two in that game.
He said, She said...
Paul Lambert: "The only stat you need to know is you have to try and win games. That’s the name of the game.”

Rene Meulensteen: "The one thing that stuck with me is that in life as well as football you are constantly faced with challenges.”

Prediction
We are boldly predicting a big Villa win


 
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