Movember 2014: expert tips for growing and styling your moustache

Jed Steer buggers off to Yeovil Town

Yeovil Town has signed Aston Villa keeper Jed Steer on loan until 31st. January 2015.

Jed has just completed a spell at Doncaster Rovers, during which time he became a fixture in the first team.

Jed is no stranger to Huish Park having made 14 appearances for The Glovers during a loan spell in 2011.

Jed started his career at Norwich City Academy when only nine years old but only made two first team appearances for the Canaries, both in the F.A.Cup.

Jed signed for Aston Villa in July 2013 and has so far made three appearances for Villa two in the Capital One Cup  and one in the F.A.Cup.

Jed has been capped by England at Under 16, Under 17 and Under 19 level.

Aleksandar Tonev handed seven game ban for racist abuse

Exiled Villa winger Aleksandar Tonev has been handed a seven game ban after he was found guilty of racially abusing Aberdeen defender Shay Logan.

The SFA confirmed that the Bulgarian winger was found guilty of breaching disciplinary Rule 202: ‘Excessive Misconduct by the use of offensive, insulting and abusive language of a racist nature’ during last month’s game between the Dons and Celtic.

Tonev, who has 16 caps for Bulgaria, is currently on loan at Celtic but questions are now being raised over whether or not he will feature again for Ronny Deila’s side.

A Celtic spokesperson said: "Racism has no place in football and as a Club for all people, Celtic absolutely abhors racism of any kind.

"This was a very unfortunate case, but the Club has accepted Aleksandar’s explanation that he did not say the words that were alleged to have been said and that he is not a racist.

"We are, therefore, very disappointed by the outcome today and can confirm that Aleksandar will be appealing this decision.”

Match Preview: Villa v Spurs

Who are we playing?

Tottenham Hotspur on Sunday 2nd November at 4pm-ish

Where are we playing?

Villa Park

Can I go?

After five defeats on the bounce without a single goal, tickets will not be hard to come by.

Easy to get to?

Should be an absolute doddle. 

Can I watch it on telly?

We are the feature game on Sky Sports Super Sunday. Yet bear in mind that if you choose to watch at home or in the pub, the players can't hear you telling them how shite they are.

Big game?

Huge.

Spurs have struggled with the Curse of the Europa League this term, culminating in a shock home defeat at the hands of Alan Pardew's poor Newcastle outfit. It must stick in Pochettino's craw that his old club Southampton are riding high after a lightning quick rebuild by Ronald Koeman.

Villa were exposed as completely impotent at Loftus Road, offering little or no creativity despite our West London opponents giving us possession at every available opportunity.

Tom Fox

Gabby and Weimann looked like passengers in that game and surely won't keep getting selected unless they offer a bit more. As for the defence, quite frankly if Jores Okore can't do a better job than Ciaran Clark, we should ship him back to Denmark.

Desperate times call for free thinking and we'd bring in enthusiastic puppy Jack Grealish, who would certainly give our opponents something to think about and maybe offer Big Chris Benteke more than a few crumbs to feed off.

Anything other than a win will certainly test the minerals of new Chief Exec Tom Fox. Were we to go six Premier League games without a goal, then Paul Lambert's position - four year contract or not - becomes untenable.

Typical Spurs fan - Rhona

Do Spurs have any famous fans? 

Well (we think) there's Lara Croft model and Strike Back actress Rhona Mitra, Chas and Dave out of Chas n Dave and "top" comedy impressionist Bobby Davro.

We've got fiddle playing scruffbox Nigel Kennedy.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?

Really hard to say because we don't believe that anyone is guaranteed a starting berth any more. Even the normally reliable Brad Guzan has been playing like his palms have been buttered of late and Shay Given has been keeping his sharpness with appearances in the Under 21s. Jed Steer was back from Doncaster but has buggered off to Yeovil.

Clearly, losing Baker, Senderos and most recently Alan Hutton has not been beneficial to the back line and we're keeping our fingers crossed that they are back sooner rather than later, though it's not looking likely for this game.

It's no use, the bugger's indestructible

We've not really solved the thorny issue of what to do without Fabian Delph as yet but if Joe Cole can't force his way in the starting line up in these circumstances, he never will. 

Who's playing for them?

Pochettino may want to shuffle his pack after the Newcastle debacle with Harry Kane, Aaron Lennon and Roberto Soldado pushing for recalls.

He said, She said

Paul Lambert "We go again" (honest, he actually said that - AGAIN)

Any useless stats?

Of course, here you go:

Jasper McLuckie

• Spurs have beaten us 68 times while we have 55 wins. There have been 35 draws.

• Last time we beat Spurs at Villa Park, it was New years Day 2008. Olof Mellberg and Martin Laursen scored in a 2-1 victory.

• Our first ever encounter with Spurs was an FA Cup Quarter Final at White Hart Lane in 1903. We ran our 3-2 winners thanks to a brace from the gloriously monikered Jasper McLuckie and one from George Johnson.

• Tony Hateley knocked in 4 as we pulled off a 5-5 draw at Spurs in 1966 in a game we could have won.

Prediction

Going for a 1-0 Spurs win.

Match Report: QPR 2-0 Aston Villa as it was tweeted

Oxford United WFC 0 Aston Villa Ladies 2

Oxford United 0 Aston Villa 2

Match Preview: QPR v Aston Villa

Who are we playing?

QPR on Monday 27th October 

Where are we playing?
Loftus Road Stadium, South Africa Rd, London W12 7PJ

Can I go?
Last we heard, there were a few restricted view seats available at extortionate prices in one of the crappiest grounds in the Premier League.

Pub

Easy to get to?
Nearest tube is White City but if you fancy a bit of a pub crawl jump off at Shepherds Bush. If you prefer mooching round the shops to hurling ale down your neck then there's a mahoosive Westfield Shopping Centre.

Can I watch it on telly?

Sky Sports Monday Night Football no less. If you've not got a Sky Sports subscription and don't fancy watching it down the pub, you can get a day pass on NOW TV.

Big game?

Huge.

Like the deserts miss the rain..

Villa's half decent start seems like a distant memory now. While you can point at the quality at the opposition for some recent defeats, even Paul "I thought they were excellent" Lambert wasn't happy with the showing up at Goodison.

We badly missed Delph, Richardson looked far less effective having to backfill for him, Vlaar and Benteke looked shadows of their former selves and -quel surprise- Nathan Baker picked up an injury. Not sure what N'zogbia was supposed to be doing but he didn't seem to be doing it.

QPR have been pretty abysmal of late but the green shoots of recovery were evident in a match against Liverpool which they had ample opportunity to win.

The losing manager of this one will find themselves under intense pressure.

Spot the QPR fan

Do QPR have any famous fans?

We believe that Ade Edmondson - star of such comedy greats as Filthy Rich and Catflap, Holby City and Ade Wanders Around The Countryside chatting to eccentrics for ITV (or whatever it's called) is a Rangers fan.

David "Kid" Jensen used to be one but is rumoured to have buggered off to Crystal Palace, which is really bad form. Mind you, other 70s DJs have committed worse crimes.

We've got fiddle playing scruffbox Nigel Kennedy.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?

Hopefully Big Chris will get a bit more of the ball, even if he is manacled by Richard Dunne. Given that things didn't really work out midfield-wise up at Everton, we'd hope that Carlos Sanchez could be trusted to come in to the reckoning here.

We are hoping that Phil Senderos is fit enough to relieve Ciaran Clark, if only for the sake of our stomach ulcers. 

Hey Fatty Bum Bum

Who's playing for them?

Adel Taarabt and Redknapp had a public falling out this week when the QPR boss accused the Moroccan of being a bit of a porker.

Defender Nedum Onuoha might shake off a hamstring problem picked up in the Liverpool game while midfielders Joey Barton and Jordon Mutch may be fit enough for consideration. but Alejandro Faurlin (buggered up knee) is a long-term injury absentee.

Any useless stats?

Billy Walker

Of course, here you go:

• QPR have beaten us 22 times while we  have 18 wins. There have been 12 draws

• Our last win at Goodison was back in November 1991. A solitary Dwight Yorke goal settled the encounter.

• Our first ever encounter with QPR was in January 1920 in the FA Cup. We ran out 2-1 winners thanks to a brace from Billy Walker on his Villa debut.

Prediction

Being wildly optimistic here and hoping we can stay solid at the back and pinch it by the odd goal