Six of the Worst - it really hurts

I don’t suppose the phrase “what a wounder” covers it. The language I was using on Sunday was certainly terser.

As wake up calls go, it was a big one and no mistake. Six- nil is hard to take at the best of the times but right now it is yet another twist and turn on the Villa rollercoaster that is desperately hard to take.

Perhaps it was the West Ham game that had lulled us all into a false sense of security. All attack, attack, attack, the Irons constantly on the back foot as Albrighton relentlessly tormented them down the flanks. There were warnings even during that wonderful afternoon. Mister Albrighton’s forays were rather predictable, if welcome as I'd pointed out midway through the first half – only to be shouted down by those merely enjoying the spectacle and as for Mister Carew – well, he was woeful that day. I flippantly blamed the banana coloured excuses for boots he had on, but then his slip-ups didn’t really cost us on the day.

Despite those very minor gripes, it was difficult to leave Villa Park without a huge ear-to-ear grin with the general consensus being that it was the most entertaining VP display in years. What do we want though – entertainment or points? If your answer is both I fear you will always be destined for disappointment. Me – well I used to say you can read the result on the back of the Argus (ask your dad, kids), if you’re in the ground, you deserve something decent to watch.

So, it was with lifted hearts that we turned our attention to Vienna – only to find that man freshly dubbed “SuperMac” didn’t appear to be taking it seriously. I’m not totally against squad rotation, one was my criticisms of MON was that he didn’t do enough of it – but EIGHT changes! Three or four at most is my view because you can’t afford to lose momentum and momentum we certainly lost. Surely the experience of two seasons ago, when we threw Europe away only to have poor league results can’t have been forgotten.

Ok, so the younger players acquitted themselves well enough over in Austria but as well as if we’d had a few older heads in the side? Surely not? The away goal is all very well and good but how much better would an actual lead have been. The real heartbreaker here was the injury to Weimann – making the briefest of cameos before being stretchered off in tears. I’d been looking forward to having him as a different striking option. Suddenly the need to sign another striker seems more acute and less likely to actually happen.

I’m sure they’ll be plenty of opportunities to give the youngsters a run out if we qualify for the group stages but let’s do that first. This is the start of the season. Surely none of the senior pros were that knackered after one competitive game

The fact that – the departed Milner excepted – the team that played West Ham was picked to Newcastle would indicate to those coming in for a cup game that no matter how well they play, they’ll be out when the League games come around. Hardly encouraging. If multi-million pound signing Curtis Davies is good enough for the Europa, surely he’s worth a stab in the Prem? (I wouldn’t pick him mind)

So, to the Newcastle debacle itself. I wasn’t there. I’m glad I wasn’t there. The players look like ants from the lofty perch that is the away section anyway. I was in the pub downing (I was politely trying not mention Downing) pint after pint of Carlsberg Export. It failed to numb the pain.

We started fairly brightly but it quickly became apparent that the suddenly talismanic Albrighton had had his batteries taken out – and with his failure to live up to the promise of the season’s opener went Plan A. Plan B? What Plan B? After an early rush of energy, we gained a penalty and who knows what would have happened had Carew not plunged it into Row Z – but just two minutes later Joey Barton struck and from that moment on, all the fight seemed to have been sucked out of us.

Petrov and new boy Ireland did a disappearing act that David Copperfield would have been proud of and we were muscled out of the game. Not in a bad way either. No complaints about Newcastle, they were firm but fair and our midfield was nowhere – neither in taking pressure of the defence or creating anything of note in attack. We had scoffed at how poor West Ham had been at VP and now here we were – live on the telly – and playing worse, to the joy of the odd bluenose scattered around the pub.

Our defence was pulled to bits – and it’s OK to say that we’ve got Collins & Cuellar out injured but I’m sorry – other than young Ciaran Clark – that’s most people’s first choice isn’t it? Sure Collins would have had more physical presence had he been facing the bustling Andy Carroll. Indeed Carroll dominance in attack made Carew’s bumbling at the other end all the less forgivable.

Mac was quick to take the blame – and he certainly could have got Reo-Coker on a bit quicker – at least when he appeared we had someone to put a foot in. The sheer joy of the opener had turned into an absolute nightmare just eight days later. A team we should have easily beaten on paper had deservedly thrashed us on grass. No excuses, no complaints and - most worryingly – no obvious answers.

Was this a blip? Or was West Ham one? Where was the leadership on the pitch when the going got tough? Or even off it?

If Mac can’t make up his mind whether he wants the job then clearly he shouldn’t get it. So who do we get? USA Bob? Sven? Whoever it is, it’s already far too late for them to assess the squad, get rid of the chaff and bring in any fresh faces. We’re stuck with what we’ve got and till January at least – but we do need someone to come in and get these guys playing and playing consistently.

It was still hurting on Monday night when – just to rub salt into the wound – Milner made his Man City debut and was – to all intents & purposes - magnificent. Well maybe not, but he was certainly very good. Would we be bemoaning a six-nil defeat if he were still in Claret & Blue?

Doubt it.