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| Tears of a clown |
Manchester United, the artists formerly known as Newton Heath.
Where are we playing?
Saturday lunchtime, 12.45pm at Old Trafford.
Can I go?
The stingy allocation they sold us ran out a while ago, so unless you've got one already, you're buggered. However, some people holding tickets might be so traumatised by the events of the Stoke capitulation that they change their minds, so you never know...
Can I watch it live on the telly?
You certainly can if you (or your pub of choice) have the delights of BT Sport who are screening the game though you are likely to have to suffer the drone of Michael Owen.
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| Big Willy |
Sort of.
Losing to United at Old Trafford didn't used to matter because nearly everyone did it. Now, many of our relegation rivals take all three points up there, so we can't claim this one as a free pass weekend. Even Albion won up there.
The debacle against Stoke still leaves us chillingly close to those relegation places and given that our last two matches are away to Spurs and Man City, we need points on the board now. WE ARE NOT SAFE.
United will be without RVP for the game, but certainly against West Ham, they looked a more cohesive unit in his absence, but Moyes finally getting decent performances from the likes of Kawaga and Mata.
Lambert had his first choice XI out on the pitch last Sunday and they were roundly outplayed by a depleted Stoke outfit.
He needs a Plan B and quick.
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| Syd James |
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| Sid James |
Well there's Angus Deayton off Grange Hill rip off soap opera Waterloo Road and Eamonn Holmes off the news. We were mildly impressed to find that Sydney James was a Man U fan until we found out it wasn't the stalwart of twenty-odd Carry On films but the glamour model.
They've also got FA Chairman Greg Dyke but we've got FA President and second in line to the throne, the Duke of Cambridge.
So we win.
Who's playing for us?
El Ahmadi is a big doubt after being subbed off in the first half of the Stoke debacle though Andi Weimann is likely to be fit to play. The entire back four must be fearing for their places too after an inept display. Clark, Bennett and Lowton may hope to benefit if Lambert decides to wield the axe, though many of the problems on Sunday stemmed from the midfield's inability to close down the opposition. Here Lambert has fewer options, as shown by the woeful performance of Sylla.
Who's playing for them?
Not sure if even David Moyes knows the answer to that one yet. He'd seemingly stumbled upon a winning formula against West Ham, but then made several changes for the Man City game and it all blew up in his face.
Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:
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| Peter Withe fires home his second at Old Trafford in 1983 |
- We haven't managed a win over United in our last nine attempts.
- The last win over United was at Old Trafford in December 2009. Goalscorer Gabby Agbonlahor is the only player from that team still in the squad. We won 1-0.
- We have to go way back to 1983 for Villa's previous Old Trafford success. Two Peter Withe goals saw us take a 2-1 victory.
- Villa fans got their first glimpse of Wayne Rooney in an FA Youth Cup final versus Everton. He looked fairly decent over the two legs, but more impressive were Villa's Stefan and Luke Moore. Whatever happened to them?
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| Moyes may face aerial criticism from some Fokker |
"In years gone by you probably would have got a lot of time, but now the success people want is instant. But if you are talking about flying an aeroplane over the stadium with a message to say you are not wanted, it is a bit extreme" Paul Lambert
"The players are hurting like me and want to show it vs Villa." David Moyes
Prediction
Depends which Villa turn up to be honest. Even Paul Lambert didn't look arsed at the Stoke City game, a mere shadow of his usual animated self. If he's stopped caring, we are truly buggered. Predicting a comfortable United win.
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