Match Preview: Man United v Villa

Who are we playing?
Manchester United on Easter Saturday at 3.00pm

Where are we playing?
Old Trafford, Sir Matt Busby Way, Manchester M16 0RA

Can I go?
They only give us a tiny allocation because they are scared of how loud we are...

Trains fucked

Easy to get to?
Well Manchester is. If you are getting the choo-choo (brave on a bank holiday weekend, beware the
replacement bus service), you can save a few shekels by splitting your tickets at Stoke. Always found getting back into the city centre after the game a bit of a bind. Our handy hint there is to have a couple of pints (problematic if you are wearing colours) while the crowds die down unless you enjoy queuing for trams or fighting over taxis. Manchester Victoria station will be closed

Can I watch it on telly?
Not officially screened in the UK so dodgy web streams and pubs with overseas satellite systems are your best bet.

Big game?
Huge.

Some people are talking about this game as something of a free hit for Sherwood but given Villa's perilous position, there's no such thing any more. We need to beg, steal or borrow points to preserve our Premier League status and should attempt to win this one whole heartedly, no matter how unlikely that may seem.

The issue with that of course is that the MASSIVE Queens Park Rangers game takes place a few short days later. The international break might have helped but Tim can't relish the prospect of two games in four days with an ever dwindling band of fit players to choose from.

Rachel getting wet

He must also keep focused with the looming Wembley semi-final an undoubted distraction for fans and players alike.

Manchester United under Van Gaal had been gathering points without looking particularly impressive but of late the quality of the performances has begun to match the points haul. The team is still very much developing but things are going in the right direction and the United faithful will expect nothing less than three points and they strive to return to kerching kerching world of the Champions League.

Do Manchester United have any famous fans?
Well there's potato-headed Steve McFadden who plays potato-headed Phil Mitchell in that EastEnders. There's also Rachel Riley off Countdown and her identical twin sister Lisa Riley who used to be a Dingle in Emmerdale Farm.

We've got heir to the throne the Duke of Cambridge.

So we win.

Remember Joe?

Who's playing for us?
Villa have been buoyed by the return to training of Ron Vlaar, Philippe Senderos, Tom Cleverley and Joe Cole although Clever Trousers is not eligible to play against his "parent" club. “A few of them are medically fit now but physically they are still a little bit behind,” Timbo said. “It’s up to me to decide whether to throw them in at Old Trafford or wait for the games coming up. There are a few more bodies out on the training field that’s for sure.”


Who's playing for them?
Smalling was crocked in the England  match. With Jonny Evans suspended and Luke Shaw recovering from a hamstring injury, Louis van Gaal could be forced to continue with midfielders Daley Blind and Antonio Valencia in the back four if neither Shaw nor Smalling returns.

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

Gooooaaalll!!!!!

• Manchester United have beaten us 95 times while we have 49 wins (just one in the current century though) There have been 39 draws

• Out last win against United was at their place on 12 December 2009. Gabby Agbonlahor got the vital goal. Gabby is the only player from the starting line up that day to remain at the club.

• Joseph Walters ran riot with a hat trick as  Villa demolished United 7-1 on 26th February 1910

• Ashley Westwood gave us the lead in this fixture last season but the wheels soon fell off and we lost 4-1.

He said, she said...
"I took a Tottenham team there last season and won quite comfortably. Whether that can emulated again? I hope so." Tim Sherwood

Prediction
4-2 to them