Match Preview: Palace v Villa

Who are we playing?
Crystal Palace on Tuesday 2nd December at 8pm-ish

Where are we playing?
Selhurst Park, London, SE25 6PU

Can I go?
Last we heard, there were a few tickets left at £32 a pop

Easy to get to?
Post Code for SAT NAV: SE25 6PU.
If you are on the choo-choo, head for Thornton Heath


Can I watch it on telly?
Not selected by BT Sport so dodgy web streams and pubs with overseas satellite systems are your best bet. Highlights in Match of the Day on Wednesday.


Big game?
Huge.

Villa could and should have soundly beaten Burnley after a dominant first half display in which we played some nice pass and move football.

Trouble is Lambert's charges sat too deep in the second half and instead of building a commanding lead, sat on the solitary goal. You simply can't do that and hope to get away with it and it cost us the win. At the end Burnley could have nicked it.

Palace definitely see this as a six pointer and when they are on it, they capable of giving the best teams a run for their money. They'll certainly fancy their chances against us.

An away point won't be enough to please the Villa faithful, while defeat really drops us in the sweet and sticky.

Suzanna gets her legover

Do Palace have any famous fans?
Well there's Suzanna Reid off of breakfast telly, Roger de Courcey & Nookie Bear and a couple of the Inbetweeners

We've got heir to the throne the Duke of Cambridge.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Big Chris is due back which may give Lambert a selection headache, especially if he thinks Joe Cole is fit enough to start a game again so quickly. Gabby could well be the man lose out but Andi Weimann's not looking super sharp at the minute.

Who's playing for them?
Palace had a hard encounter with Swansea on Saturday so our old mate Neil Warnock may bring in some fresh legs.


Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

• Palace have beaten us 13 times while we have 16 wins. There have been 10 draws

• Our last win away at Palace was back in September 1980. Gary Shaw scored the only goal.

• Palace did the double over us last season thanks to two 1-0 victories. Dwight Gayle got the winner at Villa Park while Jason Puncheon was the match winner at their place

• In November 1994, Palace wrecked our defence of the League Cup, running out 4-1 winners. Future Villa player Gareth Southgate scored two.

Prediction
We think this will be 3-1 Palace

My Favourite Time of Year - The Florin Street Band (New Christmas Songs)

Match Report: Burnley 1-1 Villa as it was tweeted

Roy Keane quits Villa to spend more time with his ego...

Roy Keane is the latest rat to leave Villa's sinking ship, hot on the heels of Darren Bent who fled to Brighton yesterday.

“Roy came to me this morning and he informed me that, ultimately, the difficulty of combining both roles has prompted his decision, which I respect totally,” we were informed by Villa's useless but seemingly unsackable manager Paul Lambert.

Ireland haven't got another match for FOUR MONTHS, but weirdly, Keane felt he couldn't manage both roles. Keane previously quit ITV on the eve of the World Cup, no doubt because he couldn't face having to look at Adrian Chiles.

"Ultimately, my roles with Villa and Ireland and combining my commitment to these have become too much." said the sometime badger chinned Keane

"It isn't fair to either Villa or Ireland, so I've made this decision. I'd like to thank Paul for giving me a great opportunity to come to a brilliant football club, I've really enjoyed my experiences at Villa and I wish the management team, the players, the supporters and the club nothing but the best going forward."

Martin O'Neill Interview 28th November 2014 from Football Association of Ireland on Vimeo.

Goalshy Villa lend Darren Bent to Brighton

Brighton & Hove Albion have completed the signing of 30-year-old striker Darren Bent from Aston Villa on an initial month’s loan until the end of December. Villa have let the proven goalscorer out on loan despite the fact that they only managed six league goals all season.

Bent has spent this season as a rarely used substitute even Benteke has been missing through injury and suspension while Gabby Agbonlahor and Andi Weimann have been firing blanks.

The south coast outfit already have Villa's Joe Bennett and Gary Gardner as regulars in their first team.

London-born Bent passed a medical at the American Express Elite Football Performance Centre earlier today, before training with his new teammates ahead of Saturday’s game with Fulham.
 
Manager Sami Hyypia said, “We are delighted to welcome Darren to the club, and I hope he will score plenty of goals for us during his time with us.
 
“His record speaks for itself. He is a top-class striker with a more than 100 Premier League goals with Charlton, Spurs, Sunderland and Aston Villa.
 
“Three years ago he was a regular in the England squad under Fabio Capello; there is no doubting his ability to score goals."

Match Preview: Burnley v Aston Villa

Who are we playing?
Burnley on Saturday 29th November at 3pm

Where are we playing?
Turf Moor, Harry Potts Way, Burnley, Lancashire BB10 4BX

Can I go?
Last we heard, there were a few tickets left on general sale at £35 a pop


Easy to get to?
Get off the M6 at Junction 29 and jump on the M65. Hop off the M65 at Junction 10 and follow signs for Towneley Hall. You'll hit the ground eventually. It's about a 20 minute stroll from Burnley Central station.

Can I watch it on telly?
Saturday 3 o'clocker so not on the box but dodgy web streams and pubs with overseas satellite systems are your best bet.

Big game?
Huge.

Ings

Villa can't buy a win at the minute and are desperate to get some points on the board. There is absolutely no doubt that we will be mired in a relegation battle for the rest of the season. lost to Burnley and the situation starts to look desperate.

Trouble is, goal shy Villa are playing the Clarets at precisely the worst time. After a traumatic start to their season, Danny Ings has rediscovered his scoring and the Lancashire club has won two on the bounce, restoring some confidence.

Ironically, Burnley might provide a sterner test for the fledgling defensive partnership of Okore and Clark than Southampton managed to do, Saints strikers struggling for form in Monday's showdown.

Villa's army of travelling faithfully will be hoping to see at least a glimpse of creativity and attacking intent from their team. Frustratingly, we only managed one shot on target against the Saints and even that was a gift from their dodgy keeper.

John Kettley

Do Burnley have any famous fans?
Quite a few, there's Chesney off off Corrie, Alistair Campbell, cricketing legend James Anderson and John Kettley

John Kettley is a weatherman.

We've got Marc Baylis - the bloke that bumped off Tina in Corrie.

So we win.

Jores should get another start

Who's playing for us?
Big Chris is still on the missing list after getting himself sent off against Spurs and we are still missing Fabian Delph, Ron Vlaar and Phil Senderos to injury. We'd imagine that Lambo will be so pleased with the sterile display his charges put in on Monday that he will leave us unchanged.

Who's playing for them?
Danny Ings is the one you've heard of...



Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

• Burnley have beaten us 40 times while we have 49 wins. There have been 25 draws

• Our last win at Turf Moor was back in 12 September 1936. Gordon Hodgson and Frank Broome got the Villa goals

• Our last Premier League encounter with the Claret was way back 2010. We won 5-2, Stewart Downing bagging himself a brace

  

  Turf Moor back in the day

• Our first ever match against Burnley was in the inaugural season of the Football League in 1888. We won 4-2 thanks to goals from Albert Allen, Archie Goodall, Tommy Green and Archie Hunter

Prediction
We think this will be a 0-0 draw.

Brian Little channels his energies into Jersey

Villa legend Brian Little, has been installed as the Jersey FA's new Director of Football.

Little - a trophy winner with Villa as both a player and a manager - joins the JFA in the newly created role.

Little's position as Director of Football is funded by a local accountancy and investment management group.

"I have had a number of opportunities to return to football management, but the offers have not felt right, until I met with the JFA and this one arose. 

"The opportunity is really exciting for me and I am looking forward to getting started. I believe that I can add some real value to the JFA by using my knowledge and experience to take a look at what is happening in local football and I will be working with the executive to develop a long term strategy." – Brian Little

"During the process of interviewing for the Jersey Head Coach position, Ian Seddon, who is Brian’s representative, got in touch with us about how Brian would be able to get involved with the JFA.

"A key element of Brian’s role will be to promote Jersey football both within and outside the island with a view to raising its profile. We believe that, with Brian’s help, we will attract more sponsorship into the game and, using his connections, be able to put together a much improved games programme for all our representative sides." – Phil Austin

Match Preview: Villa v Southampton

Who are we playing?
Southampton on Monday 24th November at 8pm-ish

Where are we playing?
Villa Park

Can I go?
After one goal and one point from the last seven games, tickets will not be hard to come by.

Monday Night Football

Easy to get to?
Should be an absolute doddle, though the German Market and Christmas Shoppers can mean it's a bit hectic if you have to go through town.

Can I watch it on telly?
We are the feature game on Sky Sports Monday Night Football. Yet bear in mind that if you choose to watch at home or in the pub, the players can't hear you telling them how shite they are.

Ronald Fucking Koeman

Big game?
Huge.

After the summer exodus of players and manager, everyone expected Southampton to struggle this term but under determined Dutch legend Ronald Koeman his hastily assembled team, the club has positively flourished and sits proudly in the top four on merit.

The wheels have fallen off as far as Paul Lambert's Villa are concerned. Almost goalless and definitely winless since mid-September, the Villa midfield looks clueless more often than not when in possession, the forwards are firing blanks and the defence - though far better than last season - is still capable of pushing the self-destruct button.

Year after year after year of dire football at Villa Park and broken the spirit of the home crowd and the fire in the belly that used to typify the Villa faithful when things weren't going our way has been replaced apathy and seemingly acceptance that we aren't any good anymore

Craig David

Do Saints have any famous fans? 
Struggling here. There's Man About The House and Robin's Nest's Robin Tripp but he's a) fictional and b) from the seventies. There's also Craig David who may be real but probably doesn't qualify as famous anymore.

We've got fiddle playing scruffbox Nigel Kennedy.

So we win.


Who's playing for us?
With Delph out and Vlaar out, a glimpse of the future. Defensive options are running perilously short so it would give credence to scurrilous rumours surrounding Jores Okore if he has no involvement in this one.

No Benteke so we expect Lambert to plod on with the toothless Gabby/Weiman/N'Zogbia combination, ignoring the claims of Darren Bent and the youthful exuberance and creativity of Jack Grealish.

Pelle's Girlfriend

Carlos Sanchez made a few encouraging forward runs against West Ham but no doubt Paul Lambert has given him a bollocking for it and had any form incisive and attacking play coached out of him.

Who's playing for them?
Key dangers are Graziano Pelle who is scoring goals for fun and of course midfield dynamo Morgan Schneiderlin who ensures that Saints dominate the middle of park through both fair means and foul, though he's struggling with his groin.

He said, She said
“Jores is just coming back from an injury but he’s getting better. We have lost two experienced players who have been playing well.” Paul Lambert

"When we are winning in a game, we keep good organisation. It's important that you don't make stupid mistakes." Ronald Koeman

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

• Southampton have beaten us 22 times while we have 28 wins. There have been 21 draws.

• Last time we beat Southampton at Villa Park, it was August 2004. Darius Vassell and on loan Carlton Cole scored in a 2-0 victory.

• Our first ever encounter with Saints was a Division Two clash in September 1936. We ran out 4-0 winners thanks to goals from Dai Astley, Ronnie Dix, Gordon Hodgson and Frank Broome.
  

• Struggling Villa pulled off an unlikely 3-2 win last season at St Mary's Stadium thanks to a cracking 89th minute winner from Fabian Delph.

Prediction
Going for a 3-0 Southampton win.

Daniel Johnson buggers off to Oldham

Oldham Athletic have signed midfielder Daniel Johnson from Aston Villa on an emergency loan until January 5, 2015.

The 22-year-old spent the first three months of the season with fellow League One side Chesterfield, facing Oldham in the 1-1 draw at the Proact Stadium.

Johnson made 11 appearances for the Spireites and won a Player of the Month award. He had previously had a relatively unsuccessful loan spell with Gary Johnson's Yeovil Town in 2012.

The youngster started out as a schoolboy with Crystal Palace before joining Aston Villa in 2009.

Johnson will wear the number 14 shirt for Latics and could make his debut during Saturday's home clash against John Gregory's Crawley Town.

Match Report: West Ham v Villa as it was tweeted

Villa snap up Ben Swift from Maidstone United

Maidstone United defender Ben Swift has agreed to sign for Aston Villa.

Swift, 17, has accepted Villa's offer of a six-month scholarship which could lead to a professional contract.

Liverpool, Leicester City and West Bromwich Albion have been sniffing around Swift but having already trained with Villa and played three games for their under-18 side, he plumped to return to Bodymoor Heath.

Swift said: "I was buzzing when I first knew that a Premier League club was watching me and that they wanted to take me on trial. I was quite excited and it showed that I was doing well.

"It was a big surprise, to know that a big club like that thought I was good enough to play for them.

"A few other clubs came in and wanted me to go on trial but I thought I'd go with Aston Villa for the six months. If nothing happens, I've lost nothing, but I really hope I get something at the end of it."

Maidstone's academy manager Jack Parkinson said: "I think Villa is the best deal for Ben. He's settled in there and he knows what it's all about. If he'd gone somewhere else, he'd have had to start all over again.

"It's fantastic for everyone involved with the club.

"Ben struggled a bit last year, he would beat himself up, but we've seen him come out of that and he's become a really good centre-half.

"He's a nice lad and he'd do anything for you, which is why we made him captain.

"He's so helpful and when you've got a lad like that, you want him to do well."

Villa charged by The FA after Spurs debacle

Both Aston Villa and Tottenham Hotspur have been charged by The FA following their game on Sunday 2 November 2014.

It is alleged that in or around the 66th minute of the game, the clubs failed to ensure their players conducted themselves in an orderly fashion. Big Chris Benteke was sent off following the incident.

Both clubs have until 6pm on 10 November 2014 to respond to the charge.

Match Preview: West Ham United v Aston Villa

Who are we playing?
West Ham United on Saturday 8th November at 3pm

Where are we playing?
Boleyn Ground, Green St, Upton Park, London, E13 9AZ

Can I go?
Last we heard, there were a few tickets left at £43 a pop

Easy to get to?
The nearest tube station is Upton Park, which is fine for getting there, but there tends to be massive queues after the game. Either have a couple of pints while the queue goes down or stroll to another tube station.

Can I watch it on telly?
Saturday 3 o'clocker so not on the box but dodgy web streams and pubs with overseas satellite systems are your best bet.



Big game?
Huge.

Villa finally managed a goal against a woeful Spurs side, but failed to capitalise or put the Londoners's shaky defence under any sort of sustained pressure as we got mugged as a result.

Six defeats in a row, three of them against poor quality opposition means that the alarm bells are ringing. It may be only November but the spectre of relegation is already looming large and Paul Lambert's charges seem to have little or no plan other than to catch the opposition napping on the break. Every team in the league is aware of this now and without a radical change of approach (which probably means a change of manager) Villa look doomed.

Big Sam

Big Sam has weathered the storm in terms of supporter dissatisfaction and steered West Ham to a top four position which they consolidated with a deserved win over Man City. The Premier League has a way of biting back though and Stoke City gave them a fright last time out.

Difficult to see Villa getting anything from this one. It could be a long winter. Paul Lambert is looking increasingly like a lame duck manager. Four years? It'll be amazing if he lasts another four weeks.

Bumped off by a Villa fan

Do West Ham have any famous fans?
Well there's Keira Knightly, Ray Winstone and Russell Brand

We've got Marc Baylis - the bloke that bumped off Tina in Corrie.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Big Chris is back on the missing list after getting himself sent off against Spurs and we are badly missing Fabian Delph. Gabby may make a swift return after being dropped while many of us are praying that Lambo will unleash the creativity and youthful enthusiasm of Jack Grealish but we're not holding our breath.

Who's playing for them?
Diafra Sakho is set to return after being forced to sit out the Hammers 2-2 draw at Stoke on Saturday after injuring his shoulder in the victory over reigning champions Manchester City. The Senegal international has hit six goals in his first six league starts.




Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

• West Ham United have beaten us 39 times while we have 37 wins. There have been 30 draws

• Our last win at Upton Park was back in April 2011. Robbie keane put the Hammers ahead early doors, but Darren Bent grab an equalizer and Gabby Agbonlahor broke East London hearts with a late winner.

• Our first ever encounter with est Ham was an FA Cup second round tie in 1913 and we hammered them 5-0, Harold Halse netting twice

Prediction
Going for 3-0 win for the in form home team, sadly.

Match Report: Villa 1-2 Spurs as it was tweeted

Video: Villa U18s 1-2 Southampton U18s

Happy 50th Crossroads

http://www.macearchive.org/Archive/Title/atv-today-06051980-benny-at-villa-park/MediaEntry/32975.html

Movember 2014: expert tips for growing and styling your moustache