Match Preview: Aston Villa v Swansea City

by Dek Hogan 

Who are we playing?
Swansea City on Saturday 24th October 2015

Where are we playing?
Villa Park, you know where it is.

Can I go?
Yep, tickets still on sale but don't leave it too long if you want to bag your favourite spot.

Easy to get to?
Doddle. We've got a shiny new station at New Street if you are getting the train in. With ticket barriers.

Can I watch it on telly?
UK telly can't showing live games (from anywhere) until 5.15pm on a Saturday. You'll have to find a dodgy dish pub or get a stream. If you can though, come to the game. The bigger the crowd, the more influence we can have. Don't spectate, participate.

"I'm gonna keep swinging until it works" Tim Sherwood

Big game?
Huge.

Losing has become a habit now. Last time we won a league match at Villa Park? May 9th. Far too bloody long.

The fact that we have only taken points from newbies Bournemouth and the woeful Sunderland speaks volumes and the root of the problem is the erratic management of Mister Tim Sherwood.

Kieran

Chelsea was a case in point, dropping fan favourite Amavi, one of the plus points of this season, and replacing him with Kieran Richardson seems like a truly strange decision. He also persisted with the hapless Lescott and he keeps picking Rudy Gestede and then failing to pick the personnel or formation to provide him with crosses he needs to be effective.

It's quite simple, Tim has lost the fucking plot and it's difficult to see a way back from here.

Many media pundits will blame the quality of the squad but these are not bad players by any stretch of the imagination but it's vital that we get back to basics, at least while they are developing as a unit.

Battering ram

The irony at Stamford Bridge was that for the first half at least, we were the better side. Chelsea's overpaid primadonnas  looked as though they couldn't give a shit and, in marked contrast to the Liverpool match, we pressed the opposition on the ball. What we lacked was an end product.

Monk

Gestede is more of a battering ram than a cultured striker. We need someone who can hold the ball up so that we can frighten teams with Gil and Grealish bombing on. Someone like, say, the ostracised Libor Kozak could do it brilliantly, if he were to ever get a run in the side.

Perhaps he doesn't train well but Timbo should realise that some great players save their best for the stadiums rather than the training ground.

Swansea are never a push over and we've only beaten once in eight Premier League attempts. Garry Monk has a well organised team and it's difficult to see anything else but an away win here.

Games against Spurs and Manchester City loom.

Typical Swansea City fan

We really are right in the shit.

Do Stoke City have any famous fans?

Not really, unless we count Catherine Zeta Jones, who used to be famous.

We've got fiddle playing scruffbox Nigel Kennedy off of Radio 3.

So we win.

Tim's team selection secret

Who's playing for us?
No doubt Tim will get his bingo machine out to pick the team again. Brad Guzan has become a liability now and if Bunn isn't good enough to replace him then what the hell did we sign him for.

Quite how Ashley Westwood gets selected every week is a complete mystery. We can only assume he is in possession of incriminating photographs of his manager...

If Lescott starts, it'll be tempting to deaf out the match altogether and stay in the pub.

Who's playing for them?

Possibly Andre Ayew so brace yourself for loads of "we signed the wrong brother" tweets. Swansea are without a win since the end of August, so Gylfi Sigurdsson will be pushing for a first team start as Monk tries to recapture a winning formula.

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

• Swansea City have beaten us 7 times while we have 15 wins. There have been 3 draws.

• We've lost the last three on the bounce to the visitors, last season at Villa Park a Bafetimbi Gomis goal did for us.

• Our only Premier League victory over The Swans came in September 2012, goals from Matt Lowton and Big Chris Benteke seeing us win 2-0.

• Prior to that you have to go all the way back to September 1982 for a Villa win, Allan Evans and Dennis Mortimer the scorers in a 2-0 triumph.

Prediction
Going for a dull 2-1 Swansea City win.