Monday 12 October 2015

Match Preview: Chelsea v Aston Villa

by Dek Hogan

Who are we playing?
Chelsea on Saturday 17th October at 3pm

Where are we playing?
Chelsea Football Club,
Stamford Bridge,
Fulham Road,
London,
SW6 1HS

Can I go?
Not unless you've already got your sticky paws on a ticket. Sold Out our allocation: 1,446 Tickets, despite rip off prices (even after subsidy).

Easy to get to?
Not as easy as usual...

On London Underground, the District line is closed between High Street Kensington and Edgware Road, and between Earl's Court and Kensington Olympia. The Circle line is closed between Hammersmith and Tower Hill (via Edgware Road), while the Hammersmith & City line is shut between Edgware Road and Barking.

On the Metropolitan line, there is no service between Baker Street and Aldgate.
On the DLR, there is no service between Canning Town and Stratford International.


Can I watch it on telly
Saturday 3 o'clocker so you'll need a pub with a dodgy dish or a decent internet feed.

Big game?
Huge.

Microscope
In comparable games we are already TEN points short of last season and right in the shite.

After the dire way Tim set his team up at Liverpool then the inexplicably bizarre team selection in the home game at Stoke, Mister Sherwood's managerial credentials are right under the microscope.

He seems to think that the players at his disposal are the problem. They are not. There is definitely quality there.

No, the issue is that you are NEVER going to get a new group of players to gel if constantly tinker with both your formation and your tactics, substitute players who are doing well in key roles and drop players after they have turned in a decent performance.

Tim is guilty of all these things. Where is the brash young firebrand that shook up Paul Lambert's losers and wrestled some decent results out of them? Can it all have just been new manager bounce?

It's true that the wheels were starting to come off towards the end of last season but things seem much worse now, much worse in fact since Ray Square Ball Wilkins arrived. No wonder Westwood keeps getting selected if old Square Ball has any say.

We face a Chelsea side in very unfamiliar circumstances and Jose Mourinho's halo has certainly become tarnished of late.

Just like Timbo, he is blaming everyone but himself. With tensions running so high for both managers, don't be at all surprised to see a massive technical area bust up. It's almost inevitable.

Typical Chelsea Fan
Why are Chelsea so terrible this season? We reckon Doctor Eva has put a curse on them.

Do Chelsea boast any famous fans?
Well there's Geri Halliwell out of the Spice Girls and spiky haired dude Billy Idol out of Generation X.

We've got Ian Bell.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Only Tactics Tim knows that. We've gotta hope that everyone has come through international duty unscathed. Lescott has now been binned off early on two occasions so his place must be under threat as Crespo and the recovering Okore add to defensive options.

Gestede seems to be a must due to Sherwood's refusal to allow Kozak any game time as he seeks to rehabilitate after a long term injury.

If he brings N'Zogbia back, we'll know he's panicking.

Who's playing for them
What will Jose do to turn this around? He has mounds of talent at his disposal. What he's probably lacking is workhorses. What he wouldn't give for a Frank Lampard type of player now...




Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:
Albert Hall
  • Chelsea have beaten us on 59 occasions while we have 57 wins.  There have been 34 draws.
  • We got battered 3-0 in this one last season, goals from Oscar, Diego Costa and Willian doing the damage.
  • Our first visit to Stamford Bridge was way back on 25th April 1908 and we ran out 3-1 winners thanks to a brace from Albert Hall (I kid you not) and one from Joe Bache.
  • Our last win at Chelsea was on New Years Eve 2011. Chelsea had gone ahead thanks to a Drogba penalty but Stephen Ireland soon equalised and late goals from Stan Petrov and Darren Bent saw us take all the points.

Prediction
3-1 to Chelsea

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