Match Preview: Everton v Aston Villa

Who are we playing?
Everton

Where are we playing?
Goodison Park, Saturday 3pm

Can I go?
Not unless you've already got your mitts on one of the measly 1,742 tickets we were allocated. Not many of them have a decent view either. It's about time Everton came into the 21st Century stadium-wise.

Can I watch it live on the telly?
Not on a UK channel no. Naughty pubs and dodgy webstreams only and there's always the risk you'll end up with Trevor Francis on the commentary.

Jennifer Ellison

Big game?
Massive. Roberto Martinez will be looking to bounce back after suffering humiliation at Anfield while every point is vital for the bottom eleven teams in a really tight relegation battle. We scared the bejeezus out them at Goodison last time. Hopefully we'll go one better this time.

Do Everton have any famous fans?

Well, there's Ed "Stewpot" Stewart of Junior Choice fame (ask yer Gran kids) and Jennifer Ellison, once of Brookside and now on seemingly every D-List "celeb" reality show going. There's also at least one of Atomic Kitten, but who really cares which one?

We've got Kris Marshall off of Death Up Paradise.

So we win.

Everton's treatment room must be standing room only

Who's playing for us?
Praying for a Gabby return. Ron Vlaar looked to be struggling a bit in the second half against the Baggies so we have to hope against hope that he's fit.

Who's playing for them?
Martinez currently has a treatment list as long as your arm. Oviedo's injury was particularly heartbreaking while the talismanic Lukaku has been ruled out for a few weeks. Ross Barkley's back playing after a short lay off but Everton's squad strength is being tested now and it's great time to be playing them.

Any useless stats?

Of course, here you go:

• We have to go back to 2008 for our last Goodison Park victory, winning 3-2 with Steve Sidwell opening the scoring after 31 seconds and two goal Ashley Young bagging the winner with just 12 seconds to go.

Ashley Young snatches victory for Villa

• You have to go back even further, to March 2006 for Everton's last Premier League win over us at their place, a brace from Tim Cahill helping them to a 4-1 triumph. Gabby Agbonlahor got our consolation goal.

• Honours are almost even between the two clubs. we have 79 wins to their 78 with 58 games ending in a draw.

• Despite Lambert bringing in several new faces in the summer, only three players (Bennett, N'Zogbia and Gabby) from the Villa team that started in the 3-3 at Goodison Park a year ago were missing from our team against the Albion on Wednesday.

He said, She said...
Roberto Martinez "As a club we’re ready to kick on and ready to challenge for big things. You look at the points tally in the league and it’ll give you a clear indication that we’re not far off."

Paul Lambert "You look at the table and there’s only five points between us and Southampton who are sitting ninth. I’ll judge the table more closely on the last game in May."

Prediction
Think there's goals in this one. Going for a cheeky 3-2 Villa win.