Match Preview: Newcastle v Villa

Newcastle United

Who are we playing?
Newcastle United on Saturday 27th February at 3.00pm

Where are we playing?
St James' Park
Strawberry Place
Newcastle upon Tyne
NE1 4ST


Can I go?
Last we heard, there were still tickets but take your binoculars.

Easy to get to?
Pigging miles away and the trains tend to be extortionate. Best bet is the coach for this one or drive up and do a stopover.

Can I watch it on telly?
Not officially screened in the UK so dodgy web streams and pubs with overseas satellite systems are your best bet.

Timbo

Big game?
Huge.

Tim Sherwood will be fully aware of the daunting task he's taken on after his new charges were truly woeful against a weakened Stoke City team that were there for the taking.

There's no Paul Lambert to hide behind any more and these players must start taking responsibility because quite frankly, some of them aren't fit to wear the shirt if the Stoke and Hull debacles are the best they can do.

Most disappointing has been Fabian Delph who seems to be celebrating his fat contract by doing precisely fuck all. Add to this Carlos Sanchez developing what we can only assume is colour blindness seeing as he keeps passing the ball to his opponents, Gabby being a complete waste of space and Ron Vlaar looking more like blancmange than concrete and poor Tim must be wondering why he took the job on.

Debbie

Newcastle have their issues and a tanking by Manchester City will have done little to keep them happy. Many Geordies still harbour grudges about the party atmosphere at Villa Park when they were last relegated and are highly delighted to see us in the mire.

Tim Sherwood hasn't got a magic wand apparently. Maybe we should have a whipround to buy him one because we need something miraculous just now. Tim is no Paul Daniels and Kevin Mac is no lovely Debbie McGee.


Do Newcastle have any famous fans?
Well their's Brian from AC DC and of course warmonger Tony Blair.

We've got heir to the throne the Duke of Cambridge.

So we win.

Who's playing for us?
Goal machine Scott Sinclair should have done enough to keep his place while Ashley Westside must have a chance of a recall. No Vlaar thanks to him costing us the Stoke game and getting binned off in the process so young Okore should start.

Who's playing for them?
Bunch of foreigners dressed as barcodes.

Charlie

Any useless stats?
Of course, here you go:

• Newcastle have beaten us 69 times while we have 55 wins. There have been 34 draws

• Our last win up there was way back in 2005, a Juan Pablo Angel goal and two Gareth Barry penalties giving us a 3-0 win

• Last time we beat them at all was in 2011. James Collins got the solitary goal.

• Charlie Athersmith netted twice as we ran out 7-1 winners over the Geordies in our first ever encounter, a cup tie in 1895

Prediction
Expecting a Desmond (2-2)