Helenius at Villa: Depression, pill popping and fear of death.

Several months of struggle against depression, fear of death and pill addiction have been revealed as the reason why Nicklas Helenius struggled at Villa.

The former national player, now on loan AaB, started off well in England, but the downturn started when he became ill with Campylobacter-like bacterium.

"I did not know my body as well, and I did not know what after-effects such bacteria can bring. I had no idea what it was", Helenius said in an interview with tv3sport.dk, "I thought I was hit by a terrible neurological disease or serious cancer. It was fucking hard and it knocked me backwards.

"It all got worse. In January, I was stressed, and the depression hit me. I could not calm the nerves, and physically it hurt so much when I moved on a football field. It felt like I had torn a lot of ligaments."

In order to get some sleep at night Helenius began taking sleeping pills, which he eventually became addicted.

"I was just like a drug addict, and for a time I took them every night for six weeks. It was bullshit, because such pills are filled with filth and dirt, and they only made my physical pain worse"

A brain scan in February revealed that there was something seriously wrong, and with the help of a psychologist he managed to drop sleeping pills and recover.

Now Nicklas Helenius is trying to resurrect his career in Aalborg. The experience in England has not discouraged him, and should the opportunity arise, he is ready for a new trip abroad.

"I have learned from what I have been through. I will have the courage to take off again. Let me stress that the only plan right now is that I have to get back to top form. What happens later on, we have to wait and see."